Posts tagged ‘attachment parenting’

Spotlight: Mothering Magazine

mothering cover

So today’s spotlight is on a recent discovery of mine: Mothering Magazine!  I was blessed to be given a subscription as a birthday present, and I am so thankful!  Mothering is definitely an attachment parenting-oriented parenting magazine, which sets it apart from many others out there.  And even though not all of the information is brand new to me, I always manage to learn something new.  I definitely recommend it!  They offer print and digital subscriptions through their website, and their site also has a wealth of other resources.

July 20, 2010 at 2:43 pm 7 comments

Word of the Week: expectations

With the start of the year and reevaluating New Year’s resolutions, it’s funny to me to think about how much things have changed in the past few years and how wildly different my reality is from what I thought life would be like with a child.

Last week I went to a friend’s baby shower, and as the only attendee with a child, they asked me how I spent my free time… “So besides working and starting your business, and having Grace, what do you do to keep busy?” they asked.  It took a moment for me to remove the blank stare off my face, and then I admitted that in the past year I’ve only read one book.  (I don’t count the chapters of the Sears parenting books that I read and re-read when I am trying to console myself that I am not a terrible parent just because my child isn’t on a schedule and cannot sleep independently yet.)  I’ve seen two movies–rented or in theatres.  And I think I’ve spent a total of less than 50 hours away from my child since she was born.

Before kids I just expected that my life, so well ordered due to my type A personality, would pretty much remain so … with just a few diapers to change and a cute little person to accompany me around town.  How much work can a little person be, I thought?

I was wrong.  Dead wrong.   I expected that my house would be spotlessly clean (so as to prevent germs from attacking my baby), that my books would stay alphabetized on their shelves, and that of course I would be just as well-groomed as before I had a baby.  And sometimes those expectations and my failure to live up to them are hard to live with.  It is hard to forgive yourself for the things that you don’t feel you’re succeeding at, and sometimes the hardest person to show grace is yourself.

I try to remind myself, though, that I’ve made the choices I have as a parent for a reason, and that sure, I could have things be different; I’m just not sure it’d really be worth it to me.  I’ve made the conscious choice to sacrifice some of my scheduled perfection and control for the sake of giving Grace what she needs at the moment, which I think is just a lot of love and nurturing.  My plans often have to take a backseat to her needs, and I think that’s the way it should be for now, and it’s what we are comfortable doing as a family.

And for friends and family (many of whom I know consider me an overindulgent mother because I am still nursing, still cosleeping, etc.) who don’t understand, believe it or not, I get where you are coming from.  My parenting style certainly isn’t what I expected it would be.

But sometimes expectations need to be thrown out the window, and the “perfect” life takes on a new look.

February 10, 2010 at 5:21 pm 8 comments

Word of the Week: faith

(Sorry this is late, but today got away from me, hence a 11 p.m. post)

No matter what your belief system, there is no denying that becoming a parent is a definite leap of faith: belief in family, hope for the future, even a trust in yourself not to totally foul up this thing called parenthood and the little one you are bringing into the world.

Nothing has taught me more about myself, and about my own values and trust in God, than becoming a parent.  As cliche as it sounds, the parent-child relationship really is unlike any other relationship we have, and I’m 100% sure that I could’ve grasped my own faith in quite the same way that I do now that I am a parent.  And I am also sure that I have grown personally in ways that never would have happened had I never taken that leap of faith and welcomed Grace into our lives.

I’m sure my understanding of faith in both God and myself will continue to morph as my children grow, but right now I believe two things: (1) as a person, I am not only more stronger than I ever thought, but also my fumbling and bumbling is “good enough.”  I really struggle with this concept off and on, and especially in my younger years dealt a lot with insecurity.  But it’s amazing how much confidence parenthood can give you. So far I don’t seem to have messed up Grace too badly, in spite of the fact that I am a bit more of a pushover than I thought I would be and I am hopeless at sleep training.

And (2) I am starting to believe more and more that the God-me relationship doesn’t have to be so hard and that the struggling and striving I do may be a lot like Grace, and how she becomes angry and thrashes about and squalls, when all she has to do is allow herself to be held by her mama and nursed, and she would get all she needs just from that.  And her happiest times are when she does just that.  When Jesus says to approach the Father like a little child, maybe it is not so complicated after all.  And this gives me great hope, that even for a very flawed mother and person like me, there’s a very abundant life ahead.

Now I know that definitely not all my readers can relate to my Christian worldview and the particular reasons for my hope, but I would hope that we can all find a measure of confidence, faith, and optimism as we continue this journey of raising our children.  I truly believe that our kids’ futures and the way they will see the world depends on it.

January 27, 2010 at 10:59 pm 4 comments

Spotlight: Kellymom.com

kellymom logo

Today I wanted to provide an extra spotlight since the first is only relevant to local readers, and so I’m spotlighting Kellymom.com.  Kellymom is an invaluable resource, particularly for the breastfeeding mom.  There’s a great look-up for local lactation consultants (side note: if you run into breastfeeding concerns, make sure to take advantage of the lactation consultants nearby! The hospital where I gave birth was so helpful when I just contacted them about a question two weeks ago, and it’s been well over a year since I delivered Grace there).  There’s also tons of information on nursing through every stage of your baby/toddler’s life, and perhaps most handy is the “is this safe” area, where you can find out if particular medications or herbs are safe for you and your baby.  Kellymom is a great site to bookmark even if you aren’t currently facing any challenges, just in case one day you are wondering if you can take that cold medicine and want a quick answer.

There are also other resources and articles on nutrition, starting solids, postpartum depression, and sleep issues.  Kellymom definitely writes from an attachment parenting point of view, so if you are a devoted sleep trainer, not all of the information will be for you… or if you are not, then you can read the articles and say, “Yes! Finally some sleep advice that I can use!” or “I am not an overly permissive parent just because Grace still nurses to sleep” (er… not that I would ever think that.  Nope).

January 19, 2010 at 9:06 am 5 comments


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