Posts tagged ‘parenting’

Link love: a great article to read

So lately I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed just by life, and family, and the prospect of adding to all that with the upcoming birth of this little one, and wondering how I can possibly get it all done … and possibly do it *well* either.  And I’ve been thinking a lot about what we really matters to me, what I can possibly cut out, what matters to other people but really isn’t at the top of my priorities.

Anyways, Simple Mom’s Simple Homeschool offshoot has a great article today on this: “On Being Busy or Being Full”… and I think most moms will be able to relate.  Check it out and tell me what you think.

P.S.  I’m venturing out on my first camping trip tonight, so this week’s winner won’t be posted until Sunday when I get back.


July 23, 2010 at 4:53 am 3 comments

Word of the Week: expectations

With the start of the year and reevaluating New Year’s resolutions, it’s funny to me to think about how much things have changed in the past few years and how wildly different my reality is from what I thought life would be like with a child.

Last week I went to a friend’s baby shower, and as the only attendee with a child, they asked me how I spent my free time… “So besides working and starting your business, and having Grace, what do you do to keep busy?” they asked.  It took a moment for me to remove the blank stare off my face, and then I admitted that in the past year I’ve only read one book.  (I don’t count the chapters of the Sears parenting books that I read and re-read when I am trying to console myself that I am not a terrible parent just because my child isn’t on a schedule and cannot sleep independently yet.)  I’ve seen two movies–rented or in theatres.  And I think I’ve spent a total of less than 50 hours away from my child since she was born.

Before kids I just expected that my life, so well ordered due to my type A personality, would pretty much remain so … with just a few diapers to change and a cute little person to accompany me around town.  How much work can a little person be, I thought?

I was wrong.  Dead wrong.   I expected that my house would be spotlessly clean (so as to prevent germs from attacking my baby), that my books would stay alphabetized on their shelves, and that of course I would be just as well-groomed as before I had a baby.  And sometimes those expectations and my failure to live up to them are hard to live with.  It is hard to forgive yourself for the things that you don’t feel you’re succeeding at, and sometimes the hardest person to show grace is yourself.

I try to remind myself, though, that I’ve made the choices I have as a parent for a reason, and that sure, I could have things be different; I’m just not sure it’d really be worth it to me.  I’ve made the conscious choice to sacrifice some of my scheduled perfection and control for the sake of giving Grace what she needs at the moment, which I think is just a lot of love and nurturing.  My plans often have to take a backseat to her needs, and I think that’s the way it should be for now, and it’s what we are comfortable doing as a family.

And for friends and family (many of whom I know consider me an overindulgent mother because I am still nursing, still cosleeping, etc.) who don’t understand, believe it or not, I get where you are coming from.  My parenting style certainly isn’t what I expected it would be.

But sometimes expectations need to be thrown out the window, and the “perfect” life takes on a new look.

February 10, 2010 at 5:21 pm 8 comments

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